READY?

Tomorrow.....I become a mommy.

I have given up on going into labor naturally. I really wanted to experience going into labor naturally at home, and all that goes along with it....but, unless some miracle causes that to happen today or tonight......We are headed to the hospital in the morning.....and we have to be there at 6am. So, I am seeing little sleep for me tonight. Especially since I didn't get up until noon today, and daylight savings time started last night and we got an extra hour anyway!!!

Bags are packed (well, Ryder's bag, and my bag....), Eric's cleaning the Yukon inside/out today, getting the car seat in there, and everything seems to be "ready" to go for when we come back home. My parents have gotten all the details and they call and check on me every other day at least. I know Eric wishes he had family closer to be here with him during this exciting time in his life. I have so much family here.....and nothing at all against his family!!! I know it can't be helped!!! And I know they wish the same thing :)......but, I know after Ryder arrives tomorrow, he wishes he had family to show him off to. I can't wait to see how excited and proud he is of his son.

This is such a surreal feeling. Knowing that I am going to have a baby tomorrow. Knowing my life will never be the same. I am so scared! But also, very excited, and blessed.

I am worried about how tomorrow will go....how bad it will hurt....how Eric will do through it all....how good of a mother I will be.....how good of a baby Ryder will be....that he will start growing up the day he is born.....just worried.

I am excited that I get to hold MY baby boy in my arms tomorrow....that I will get to kiss him and feed him and love him....that Eric gets to be a daddy to a baby boy, and he gets to experience the birth of his child and the love that comes with it.....that my dad gets to become a grandpa tomorrow....just excited.

So many emotions today, and no real way to express them. I already told Eric there would be lots of crying tomorrow. He laughed and said "yea, I know" lol

Wish us luck!

:::Gulp..........

Had my doctor's appt. today......my hubby came along :) My blood pressure what slightly elevated (124/82 I believe)....just the bottom number is kinda high. So, then Dr. Bernardin said she wanted to check my urine for a protein/creatnine ratio (which involved a trip to the lab)....and when she checked me.....I wasn't any further progressed. So, still a "good 3cm" is what she said. Then she brought up the big "I" word.....INDUCTION.... she said with my blood pressure creeping up and since my cervix seems ready, she thinks its best to go ahead and induce me at 39 weeks.....this hit me kinda hard! She said it was up to me, and asked me if I was okay with it....but she said if I didn't want to be induced she would start doing non-stress tests on the baby twice a week to make sure he was doing okay with my higher blood pressure. I asked some questions....and I shared with her my fear of being induced and not progressing during labor, and then ending up with a c-section anyway. I know MORE than one person that exactly that has happened to this year!!! She said that wouldn't likely happen to me because my cervix was already ready to go...and they use this scale to determine the likelihood of someone delivering vaginally, and I score very high on that scale.....

Anywho.....I am scheduled for induction MONDAY.....unless, of course, I go into labor first......which, of course I would rather have happen, so, of course, I am asking anybody reading this to pray for that!!!!

Naturally going into labor seems so much better to me! But, I understand why she wants to induce me...and I am pretty ready......

And she said that nothing I do will make me go into labor....not any of these wives tales people are telling me to do!!! She DID say having sex could help because the prostaglandins from him is the same stuff they give women to soften the cervix for inductions. That's all I'll say about that. :) She wants me to pretty much just sit at home and lay around now....so my blood pressure doesn't elevate. This isn't fun. Waiting. Wondering. Being bored. Watching endless TV. Not fun.

HiCCuPs

Well, Halloween has came and went....and I'm still pregnant. No pumpkin baby ;( Which is OK...... Guess I need to be enjoying this last little bit of time I have of not being a busy, exhausted mommy......but I am ready to meet me little man. And I am sick of being as big as a whale....and going to the bathroom once an hour.....and not being able to sleep (well, that part won't go away)......

It's just hard waiting :) Not knowing when it will happen, or how it will happen......

I had Eric walk with me earlier tonight, and I ate some spicy food for dinner.....can't hurt, right? Then I vaccumed the whole house. I guess now I'll go do what some people keep saying to do....."Rest".

Oh, and this little guy gets the hiccups more than anyone I know. Almost every time I eat, and almost every time I lay down.....he starts. And they last forever!!!!!!!!! I really hope he doesn't get the hiccups this often after he is born! It's kinda driving his momma nuts, even tho it is a cool feeling. Just a little less often would be nice :)

::::DONE::::

Welllllllllll, looks like I am officially done working until after my maternity leave is over!! I honestly don't know whether I am happy or sad about that. I really wanted to keep working up until he got here.....but last night at work was pretty miserable. Thank God it was slow....but I was just so uncomfortable, and by the end of the night I was having contractions a lot. Then, this morning a lady at work explained some of my short term disability benefits to me. There is a 14 day waiting period after quitting work before the money kicks in.....So, if you wait until you actually deliver to start your claim, you have to not get paid, or use your PTO more for those 14 days, and then they start paying you. So then, you officially get 6 weeks off from a Dr. for delivery, you have to wait for two of those weeks to pass, then they would only pay you for the 4 weeks you have left off. BUT, if you go ahead and take your leave early, the 14 day waiting period starts from your last day of work.....and they will start paying you as soon as that waiting period is over OR the day you deliver....i.e. you end up getting more out of your STD because they will pay you from that point until your 6 weeks leave is over. Make sense???? its pretty confusing for sure! But, it just made more sense for me to go ahead and quit working so I would get more out of my STD.....Then, I will still have my FMLA leave after that. So, I am unsure when my exact date to go back to work is at this point, but lets not think about that yet!

So, now...we wait.....

I hope you don't make mommy wait too long Ryder....she will go crazy laying around this house for too long!

hi ho hi ho

so tonight, i have to work...and although i do want to have this baby SOON, i DON'T want to go into labor at work. :/ so, here's to hoping for an uneventful night in the NICU! and if tonight doesn't go well, it might just be my last shift, or close to my last shift, before going on maternity leave! crazy! Dr. Bernardin is fine with me quitting work whenever I want to. Wish me luck!

:::guess we'd better get "ready", whatever that means..........

Well, I had a Dr. appt. yesterday. Here I am, thinking I probably won't have made any progress at all....then, she checks me.....fun stuff....and to my complete surprise, she tells me I am already 3 cm. dilated! and 70% effaced!!!!! .... That I lost my mucous plug a long time ago, and it could be very soon that I might go into labor! Holy crap!!! She said he had a nice cushion of fluid protecting his head, which is already really low in my pelvis...about as low as it can get before labor. I was so shocked taking this all in!! She told me to call her if 1. My water breaks 2. I start bleeding 3. I go into labor ... Of course, some women sit at 3cm dilated for a couple weeks, but she didn't act like this would be the case for us.

So, after I left the Dr. I made a trip to Babies R Us and then Old Navy to get a couple of things I had been wanting. And last night I did the rest of his "necessary" laundry...and got his baby bag packed up and ready, and my bag close to ready. Just the last minute things will have to go in. Eric, of course, says he will just throw some things in a bag when it's time. Hopefully that works, huh? I still wish I had a few things for him before he arrives, but....shopping isn't really fun for me right now....and I hate spending more money. We didn't get his swing, which I really wanted, and a camcorder to get video of him..... he also has basically, NO newborn clothes....so, if he isn't bigger than 8 lbs...everything will be way too big on him. :( I might have to send my mom shopping, if this is the case.

Yesterday after my appt. and some today, I've had some different pains/feelings....of course making me wonder if I am going into labor! I just think her checking me triggered some of this. One pain yesterday in my left side was so bad, I had to take time to breath through it. I don't know what it was, but Thank GOD it went away! I am anxious now, waiting for labor to begin, wondering what it will feel like. Will I be one of those women who can't stand the pain of contractions, and needs an epidural really soon?? Or will it not be too bad, and I am able to get through them without too much trouble?? So many questions...but, I guess I will find out pretty soon. I will say, I am kinda scared for labor...but, excited as well. I work tomorrow night, so, here's hoping I don't go into labor at work! THAT is not what I want to happen!

I'd love to go to bed right now and get a good night's sleep....however, apparently I snore so loud now, I keep my husband up....who then wakes me up so I will quit snoring....and its hard to sleep when you can't get comfortable, have so much going through your mind...oh, and you had a mountain dew earlier in the night....yes, I said mountain dew. It was delicious. :)

.....ShoWeR me BaBy.....

Shower #1 was back on August 28, at my Aunt Cindy's church. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera that day....and I am yet to see the pics that other people took :( I did get a pic of this cute diaper cake Eric's mom made and sent up for the shower. It's so cute, I will hate having to take it apart!

Shower #2 was at my Aunt Diana's house. It was so nice! Family from my step-mom's side came, as well as some of my friends! The chocolate fountain was very yummy! and everyone loved it! I got a LOT of great things at this shower! Thank you Aunt Diana!

Shower #3 was thrown by my Aunt Mary Kay and Aunt Carole. It was fun, and some of my good friends were able to make it! Good times! Highlight of the evening, Grandma Z. giving me an outfit that was my dad's when he was a baby. :)

Shower #4 was hosted by my newly married work friend, Kim. She did an amazing job with the food, decorations, and party favors! So sweet! Just looking at this cake, makes me want some! lol I already posted a pic of all the preggars at this shower in the last post...

Of course, I wish I would have gotten more pictures of all the people who attended my showers!!!! :( but I want to thank everybody who came!!!! It's kinda hard to run a camera when you are opening gifts! :) Can't wait to use all of Ryder's new things when he arrives. :) :) :)